- WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?
Fear, ‘an unpleasant, sometimes strong emotion caused by an anticipation or awareness of danger’ or ‘anxious concern’, most commonly comes from the anticipation of ‘loss’ – loss of health (disease or injury to the body) or loss of face (damage to the ego, pride, or image).
Intolerance, in other words, a lack of patience, bias, prejudice, bigotry, fanaticism, small-mindedness, and so much more, stems from deep-rooted fear, with an allergy being indicative that the body can take no more and so reacts badly.
The greater the attachment to the physical world, the worse the situation becomes, especially when there’s a constant need of approval
SIGNS OF FEAR
Fear shows itself in many ways. Some withdraw or cower, hoping that, by not taking chances, there can be no risk of loss. The most profound examples of fear, however, are anger and hate. Hatred, like acid does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored, than to the object onto which it is poured. Along with anger, it’s born out of fear, out of a sense of inadequacy and/or dread of loss. When fearful, individuals take themselves and materialism far too seriously, with the fear acting as a catalyst that fuels anger and hate.
Initially, there’s a short-term physical effect, and then it starts impacting life in general. Far more than just a mental state, any disturbance that alters the brain’s chemical balance, also changes the body’s physiology. Distress causes tunnel vision, colour blindness, distortion of time and depth perception, raises the blood pressure and rapidly depletes the immune system. Errors in judgment and failure to take the most reasonable course of action can, long-term, be devastating. When fear, anger and intolerance are practiced on a daily basis, consciously or unconsciously, negative behaviours become perpetuated, often without conscious awareness, forcing the body to step in and show its displeasure by reacting badly. Fortunately, being happy, conversely boosts immunity and strengthens mind and body.
CASTING OUT FEAR
The only way to cast out fear is to get past the ego. To prevent loss of face (ego), generally considered greater than the loss of physical well-being, leads to many petty arguments, condescending attitudes and arrogance all come from perpetual fear and extreme insecurity. When centred, confident and focused there’s no time for boasting or taking part in trivial squabbles, with time better spent on cultivating spiritual worth. As fear vanishes, so too does anger. With anger out of the way, thoughts become clear. When thoughts are clear, it’s easier to function. With an open mind the potential for growth is unlimited. When free from fear, every moment can be experienced to the fullest. This resolute and aligned state of mind makes it easy to excel.
If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap. If you want happiness for a day — go fishing. If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else. Chinese Proverb
The following anonymous, yet truly inspirational sayings, of how to deal with any lingering fear have been gathered, from the internet, over many years and are now shared with much love.
- HONOURING LIFE CHANGES – THE WISDOM OF FEAR (Big toes and toe necks)
Anything really worth doing in our lives will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, and changing careers— all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the new life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new. Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out.
The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honour our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence. You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by journaling. Writing down whatever comes up—your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes—is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.
3.FEAR OF LOSING WHAT WE HAVE – SEEING BEYOND FEARFULDELUSIONS(2nd toes and balls of feet)
One of humanity’s biggest fears is losing what we have. It is healthy when fear of loss helps us take steps to protect what we have worked hard to attain, but it is unhealthy to continue to fear something we can do nothing about. We need to remember that focusing our energy on fear can actually create what scares us, and holding tightly to what we have keeps us from participating in the universal flow of abundance and instead creates stagnation. Since we can only really control our thoughts and our responses, gaining proper perspective may be key to conquering such fears. The letters of the word ‘fear’ can be used to stand for ‘False Evidence Appearing Real.’ Fears of being separated from something or someone we feel we need for our security or happiness comes from a delusion—a distorted way of understanding ourselves and the world around us. When we understand that possessions are only representations of the energy at work in our lives, we can shift our attention to the right and proper place. We can stop fearing loss of money or success because when we understand how it is created, we can always create more. We can stop fearing loss of possessions when we realize that they are not the source of our joy or well-being but only icing on our cakes. And when we understand the energy of love, we need not hold anyone too close for fear of losing them for we know that love does not diminish when it is given or shared but expands beyond boundaries of time or space. By focusing our light on our fears, they are revealed as mere shadows that disappear in the presence of mind and spirit. We can choose instead to direct our thoughts and creative power toward things of true value—love, abundance, peace, passion, and joy. These are energies that are always available to us when we place ourselves confidently in the universal flow of abundance.
4.CHOOSING A NEW RESPONSE TO COMMON FEARS (3rd toes and upper halves of insteps)
Everyone has fears—it is a natural part of being human. It can protect us from harm by sending a rush of adrenaline to help us physically deal with potential danger. But there are times when fear may keep us from participating fully in life. Once we realize that fear is a state of mind, we can choose to face our fears, change our minds, and create the life we want to live. Our minds are powerful tools to be used by our higher selves; like computers, storing and using data to make certain connections between thought and response. We have the ability to observe these and choose differently. No matter where the fear came from, we can create new connections by choosing new thoughts. When our souls and minds are in alignment, we create a new experience of reality. This journey requires many small steps, as well as patience and courage through the process. Here’s an example: You decide to overcome your fear of driving on the freeway. Your plan of action starts with examining your thoughts and finding a new way of seeing the situation. When you’re ready, you enlist a calm companion to support you as you take the first step of merging into the slow lane and using the first exit. Your heart may be racing, but your confidence will be boosted by the accomplishment. Repeat this until you are comfortable, with or without help, and then drive one exit further. When you are ready, you can try driving in the middle lane, for longer periods each time, until you find yourself going where you want to go. This gradual process is similar for conquering any fear, but if you find it overwhelming, you can always seek the help of a professional. You may think that you are the only one with a particular fear, that nobody else could possibly be scared of ordinary things such as water, heights, public speaking, or flying. These types of fears are very common, and you can have great success overcoming them.
Remember, it is not the absence of the fear but the courage to take action anyway that determines success. When we learn to face our fears, we learn to observe our thoughts and feelings but not be ruled by them. Instead we choose how to shape the lives we want.
- LIGHT OF THE PARTY – CONFIDENCE IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS
(4th toes and lower halves of insteps)
If you feel shy or awkward in social situations, know that many others are probably feeling the same way too. If you’ve ever been to a social gathering where you’ve felt awkward and uncomfortable, chances are you are not alone. While social gatherings can be very enjoyable, especially when we are surrounded by people whose company we enjoy, there are social events that we attend where we sometimes find ourselves wishing we were someplace else. Such occasions can sometimes be the cause of much anxiety and self-consciousness. We may even feel like everyone else is having a good time except for us. Yet the truth is that everyone has felt shy and awkward on occasion. One of the best ways to overcome self-consciousness or get past your feelings of shyness at social gatherings is to focus on the people around you. If you can remember that other people might also be feeling awkward or shy, you might find the thought of speaking to them less intimidating or overwhelming. The next time there is a social event you feel nervous about attending, you may want to try this exercise: Spend some time with your eyes closed and breathe deeply. When you feel ready, create your own zone of comfort by visualizing yourself surrounded in a warm white light that is protective yet accepting of others. Imagine people at the event being drawn to you because of the open and warm feelings that you are radiating. When you arrive at the event, take a moment to spread this same light of loving acceptance to everyone around you. Smile and greet people warmly. Try going up to someone who is standing alone and introduce yourself. When you radiate acceptance, openness, and receptivity, people can’t help but respond to you in kind. Focusing on how we can make other people at a social gathering feel at ease can help us forget about our own insecurities. In the process, we end up making the very connections that we seek. The next time you attend a social gathering, invite people to join you in your zone of comfort that you have so lovingly and intentionally created. Let yourself enjoy being encircled in the warmth of their friendships.
- EMERGING COURAGEOUS – WALKING THROUGH YOUR FEAR
(Little toes and heels)
The situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, self-magnifies. It is when you are afraid and envisioning all that might go wrong that the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyzes you into inaction. Though frequently, in walking through that fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of synch with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds. Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can nonetheless become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Walking through it, whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. As you spend time worrying about what might happen, it’s good to know that your fear probably won’t happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small. Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier.
- FEAR OF SEXUALITY(Also Little toes and heels)
One of the biggest factors that prevent people exploring, expanding, healing and extending their sexuality is a little four-letter word that begins with ‘F’, Fear. (There are a lot of four letter words that begin with ‘f’ related to sex. Another is Feel. This is related to fear, as in fear of feelings, what experiencing feelings make me do, which is be vulnerable, or feel vulnerable. Because if I feel vulnerable, I could get hurt. Well, here’s a newsflash: the feelings are not filtered through a semi-permeable membrane that lets in the ‘good’ and keeps the ‘bad’ out. When you sign on for feelings, you sign on for all of them. That’s one of the beautiful things about being human. To go even further, we couldn’t experience the ‘good’ without the ‘bad’, because we’d have no idea what they were.) For many people, maybe more women than men, the fear of rocking the boat is huge. We get so desperate for him to stay, for the relationship to last, to ‘work’, (which it absolutely cannot in the presence of this fear.) When we say that we’re not sexually fulfilled and need more, we’re telling our partner that they’re not good enough. Which has the fear of damaging their ego, fragile in men when it comes to sexual prowess, and the fear of hurting them. To say nothing of the fear that they may leave. Let’s go back a step; are we really saying that they’re not good enough? Nope, well, maybe, in some circumstances. Like most of life, it’s not quite black and white. If we don’t know exactly what we want, if we don’t know how to say it, if we don’t have open sexual communication, if our partners can’t read our minds, if nobody ever taught them a few things…then it’s not all about them. Yes it hit a deep level of insecurity; it brings all the nasty no-no’s to the surface. Big time. But it may be more about circumstances than fault. The ego fear may affect men more than women. This is about sexual skill, body image, body size, knowing what to do, how to do etc. Simply because we’ve certain equipment, we’re supposed to be superman. Time for another newsflash: it just isn’t so. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, good lovers are made, not born. And a real man is willing to listen, learn, grow and change. Then there’s the fear of what we may find in ourselves when we go looking. What we’re going to wake up, what we’re going to discover. And what we do with it once we’ve found it. What the impact is going to be on our lives and relationships is a deep fear. Many of these fears are linked to acceptance, by a partner or a community. What beast we may awaken, what fires we may stir may be beyond the boundaries of ‘acceptable’ in many communities. And so we open an internal and external conflict. There comes a struggle between what we’ve been conditioned to and what we find within ourselves and out in the world. In many situations there’s the fear of communication. How do I tell him or her? Then what do we do, where do we go from here, how do we deal with it all? And if we don’t want to hurt him or her, who do we hurt? Only ourselves. There are so many other fears associated with sexuality and relationships, books worth. They’re complex, they’re deep and they’re scary. I’ve touched on the surface of a few of the biggies here, hopefully with a touch of levity. But these are fears that I see on a regular basis. The good news is that there are solutions and possibilities. Some of them may not be easy. Some of them bring up more fears. Some of them require great effort and change. But there are very positive possibilities. I would offer four things to consider.
*The first is yourself. At what point do you stop giving your happiness away, your fulfilment and self-expression. At what point does your happiness become of prime importance?
*The second is a question. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
*The third is this: focus on the goal, the bigger picture. If you want to be happy, if you want the relationship to work, if that’s the most important thing, then I or we can do what we have to.
*The fourth is an old Chinese saying; A thousand-mile journey begins with one step…
When you’re ready to step away from the fear, when you’d like to live with greater freedom, more pleasure… Author unknown
All dis-eases are labelled fear of change..
fear limits the ability to live freely.
…it’s time to take a few risks,
come to grips with the anxiety of possible loss,
to really let go, with the willingness to change and grow,
it’s possible to expand and unfurl,
with no limits as to what is possible — maybe even miracles.